A Faith Journey

The last 1.5 years of school has truly been a progression both mentally and spiritually. I think I started off depending heavily on my own skill and mental strength, forgetting to still put God at the center of my life. As time has gone by, I've been reminded time and time again that life is not about education, careers, homework, etc. It's about bringing glory to our Creator! I shouldn't simply "do" things--I should be doing them unto the Lord with a kingdom mindset. I want and need to be humble before the Lord and let Him truly guide me, lift me, and place me. I know I take on too much too often, but it's just not worth doing anything without bringing it before God first. Here's to finishing strong by the Lord's strength, grace, and guidance in my last quarter.

Choosing APU

I choose to go to APU for two main reasons: 1) The classes were at night and also were on-line. This allows me to stay at home with my daughter during the day and also left opened the possibility of working while going to school. 2) It is a Christian university and I was excited to learn about teaching from the Christian perspective and worldview.

I honestly say, and this might sound harsh, that besides a few moments in the last 1.5 years, it is hard to tell that APU (at least at the satellite campus that I'm at) is truly "God First." This does not mean that my professors or any of the staff are ungodly people. Everyone is extremely kind and willing to help. What I mean is that when I think of "God First," I think of seeing everything through the lens of "God" ---everything from the perspective of being a believer in Christ and living lives that bring glory to God. Besides a few verses mentioned, a few Soul Quest nights, and a few faith integration assignments, God is really not mentioned that much in our classes. I guess I was expecting more honesty and sharing about what it means to be a Christian teacher. I was hoping for professors that shared their Christian perspectives and experiences and wisdom on living the gospel in the classroom. I feel that the curriculum and professors shy away from being upfront and real about what it means to live out Christianity in the classroom. Maybe this is because the university knows it has non-Christian students that don't believe or understand Christianity. But, this, I believe, defeats the point of being a "God First" university. Since APU is openly a Christian university, I think it should be bold in its faith and that means integrating it in every part of the curriculum, not segregating it to certain projects. The occasional faith integration projects provide time to reflect, but do not provide any "leading" or "teaching" on the university's end. Truly integrating God into every part of our teaching and learning is not an easy task with an easy solution, but I think it is important to strive after.

Incorporating God's Word in the Classroom

I am a big believer in living life with a single purpose: to love God with all my mind, heart, and soul and to love others as myself. I constantly fail at this and am so thankful for God's endless grace because of my distracted mind and spiritual amnesia.

But, as I have been "forced" to evaluate my teaching philosophy at APU, I am recharged with the goal to live this purpose out in the classroom. I do not want to live my life in separate boxes: home, work, school, play, etc. I want to live and work all unto the Lord. I can't simply preach the gospel in my classroom, but I can glorify God by loving my students with God's love and living out the scriptures in the way I teach and interact with them. I look to Jesus as the ultimate role model. Wherever He taught, He met the people at their point of understanding, included their interests, and then challenged them to go further and see life in new ways. He constantly served, cared, and had compassion but He also disciplined, rebuked, and challenged when necessary. By keeping my eyes on Jesus' mission of loving and restoring in order to bring glory to the Father, I hopefully can bring the "gospel" to the classroom through my actions.

God's Word is Always Timely.

I try to memorize a verse or passage every week or two. Even though this task can be so difficult, I am reminded time and time again how important it is to have God's word in my heart and mind. He uses it to remind me of His presence and mission. He uses it so that I may see how beautiful and true He is and how much I constantly need His grace. He uses it to make me the person He created me to be so that I may glorify Him and love others well.

So, I realized that the verse I have been meditating on is, of course, perfectly tied to my last blog. His timing is always perfect :)

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxieties on Him for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5: 6-7)

I realize that many times in my life I have called on the Lord to help me but at the same time, kept holding onto my problems and trying to logically fix them myself. I've been missing the key to this verse, which is "humble yourselves." Wow, that makes a difference! It's only when we let go and realize our weakness and simultaneously recognize His "mighty hand" that we will truly see God working in our lives.

How does this apply to my teaching and the classroom? Well, I often find myself in either one of two places when I run into problems in the classroom (usually with classroom management, my downfall): 1) I try to solve every kid's problems and get exhausted trying to make it work for everyone; or 2) I become overwhelmed and just ignore the problems. Needless to say, neither are healthy. Memorizing this verse has made me realize that I need to humble myself before the Lord at all times, not just in times of desperation, trusting that He is wiser and stronger than me (obviously, yet at times, my mind deceives me) and that He has the perfect timing for everything.

In the beginning...

When I first started the credential/masters program at APU, my life was in the midst of radical changes. My husband and I just moved to CA from Maui and just had our first child. My daughter was about 6 months old when I went back to school to conquer a teaching credential and graduate school. I have to say that in the midst of all the stress and decisions and life-style changes, I was not truly relying on the Lord's strength or wisdom but on my own. The thing is that relying on God takes patience and eyes that are focused upward on Him. I felt like things were happening so fast that I could not wait for His answers. So, I made my own. None of this was a conscious "back-turning" on God. I was praying, but I think I was not listening. The amazing, mind-blowing thing is that God is so faithful even when we are not. He sees us through hard times and gives us grace even when we are stubborn. Did I have hard times at the beginning of this program? Yes! But looking back as I am now in the middle of my masters degree, I can see how His sovereign hand has always guided my steps. Yes, He allowed me to fall at times so that He could be the one to pick me up and become my ultimate strength.

Blog Overview

This blog has been created to tracking the role of faith in my teaching profession.

Questions to be answered:

1. How has my faith changed, as I have changed, while participating in the Digital Teaching and Learning Program at APU. This may involve ideas about:
How has this program helped you, or others, to see God’s great plan for you?
How has the Christian classroom, or staff, helped you to go further, academically than in secular courses?
How has the choice to attend a “God First” university enhanced your experience?

2. Have I learned any novel ways to incorporate God’s word into my classroom?